Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
