You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
