Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
