he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Randomize
