are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Randomize
