She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
