Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
