One girl and one boy is just not enough.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
