There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
