Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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