He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
