IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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