I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
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