i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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