i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
