I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
zippers are such a cool invention
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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