Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
