When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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