How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
