I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
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