"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
