No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize