love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
