I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
