We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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