he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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