I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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