You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
