My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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