ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize