I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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