I'm really into asian looking animals
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
why does every cop we meet know your name?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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