I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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