After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
