The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Redeem this text for a blowjob
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
