the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
His nipple licking is glorious
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