I want to make a zoo with you.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Randomize
