I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
