problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
i believe in u and ur pee
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
