i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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