1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
