he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
