Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
