I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
