yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
