He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize