dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
