ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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