I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
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