I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
