found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
