I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
she smelled like a LAN party
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
