i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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