i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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