so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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