So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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