I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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