so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
