You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
