I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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