oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
