i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
