as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
