When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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