College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
