Where did you get a picture of my penis
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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