Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Me too!
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
