you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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