We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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