so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
