For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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