i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize