The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
