I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
He passed out mid-signature
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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