She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
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