You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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