i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
