Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize
