U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
pray to the hookup gods
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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