I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
